Life

Yesterday was one of the "good" days. And usually after a particularly good day, comes a "bad" day. I feel guilty for being happy. Why am I looking forward to things and smiling? Why am I laughing? I know the boys want me to be happy but that doesn't take away that guilty feeling. Anyway, I want to share with you the most important people in my life.




Tianna - 5 years old. I can't get this child to take a normal picture, she is always moving around or making a silly face.She is so outgoing and LOVES talking to people. She has been through so much. But God is good and her health has been great. If she can make it to April 2011 without having any seizures, it will mark one year. We have never had a whole year seizure free so that would be such a blessing. - I love you baby girl, you are the strongest person I know.







Aubrianna - 2 years old. My shadow. No, seriously, she follows me and is constantly by my side. Unlike her sister she is shy and really doesn't like people she doesn't know. You know, when you're in the store and that nice old lady comes up and says, "Oh she is so darling!" Well, this kid will just stare at her and not even crack a smile. What can I say. - I love you princess, and I hope you always want to follow me around.







Bryston - almost 3 months in Heaven. He was our "Twin A" and he was always kicking and moving around. I miss feeling you move. Your life was so short and that saddens me. The nurses and doctor's said you came out fighting. Trying to swat at their hands when they were putting in the breathing tube. You fought so hard to live. I will forever cherish the memory of holding you in my arms those last moments of your life. I love you will everything I have and I miss you so much that it hurts.





Colton - almost 3 months in Heaven. He was our "Twin B". He was never as active as his brother. He was breech. I remember always having to pee, like all.the.time. and it was because you were kicking my bladder constantly. I miss feeling you move. You passed away before I woke up in recovery and that breaks my heart. Your daddy got to hold you while you were still alive and for that I am so thankful. He said you were a fighter to, you tried to hang on as long as you could. I will forever cherish the memory of holding you in my arms. And I know you were there with us until your brother passed, and I know you went to Heaven hand in hand. I love you with everything I have and I miss you so much that it hurts.




Shawn - we have been together for 8 years now and I could not ask for a better husband. This man is my rock. He is the best father and the girls adore their daddy. And I know the boys are looking down and so proud of you too. I love you. And I would not want to grow old with any other person. You truly are my best friend.


Maybe one day soon I will be able to add another picture. Maybe one day soon we will have a rainbow.