Okay, when the boys passed away, our bereavement counselor said, "I know you don't even want to think about this, but you can claim Bryston and Colton on your taxes. It will help pay for the medical bills."
Well, she was right. That was last thing we wanted to think about and never really did. But here it is, tax time. We talked with our accountant who told us in order to claim the boys we would need social security cards for them. The thing is, after we had them we were told that we would not be issued SS cards for them. They told us a reason why but to be honest I don't remember what they said. I was grieving the loss of my sons, the last thing on my mind was SS cards. Anyway. I called the IRS today to see what they had to say and by the end of the call myself and the IRS representative were in tears.
She was such a nice woman and I thank God for that because the first lady I talked to was extremely rude. She read through everything and asked me some questions and pretty much I have to call the Social Security Administration (Which I did and have to call back) and see if the boys are eligible for SS cards. If they are, I will fill out all the paperwork that I need to. If they aren't, we just have to attach copies of their birth certificates with our taxes and write down that they are deceased.
Who knew a simple (not so simple) call to the IRS would leave me in tears. I truly did not expect that. And before we got off the phone she said, "I will be keeping you in my prayers sweetie, I am so sorry." and she started to cry.
This is just not normal. I am so pissed off. (yeah, I guess that anger stage isn't gone yet, huh?) I should not have to be making these calls. I should be holding my boys and changing diapers and walking around with spit up on my shirt. I know I probably sound crazy right now, but I'm angry. I'm sad. I'm hurting.
Oh yeah and let's not forget...I ran into an old friend at the store yesterday. Shawn and Tianna were getting a movie from Red Box and Aubrianna and I were grabbing a few things. We stopped and talked for a few minutes and then the dreaded question, "You just had twins didn't you!?" And there it is, the slap in the face. I was not mad at her, how would she know? But I answered, got that lovely look of pity and high tailed it out of there.
The whole day hasn't been bad though, it started off so great. I got this amazing package in the mail.
Willow Tree figurines, "Two Together". Tiffany, from Holy Pee Stick, Batman!! sent these to me. I cried (happy tears) and just held them. They are now sitting by the boys' urn.
I miss my boys. I miss them so much.Thank you Tiffany, from the bottom of my heart. Who knew just how much I would need these today.
i'm glad it got to you right in time. ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteWhat a day. I'm glad that it ended with such a nice gift. :) Hugs!!
ReplyDeleteI can't believe that amazing gift! How incredibly thoughtful and perfect!
ReplyDeleteThe little boys are darling! I can imagine how that gift lifted your heart! Yes, we were able to claim Meredith on our taxes 1 time, and I still have that return, 36 years later. I want to keep it always. That was so sweet of the IRS lady to cry with you - some of them DO have a heart! xoxo
ReplyDeleteThis is such a difficult topic. My hubs is a CPA so I asked him to research the issue so I can do a post on it. For some reason, a lot of sources say that you need a social security card (for the social security number) to claim your children. That isn't the case- the IRS recognizes that there are situations, like ours, where there is no point to issue a social security number. When you are filling out your 1040 there is a section for dependents and you will write "Deceased" or "Died" where you would normally put the social security number. I was told Claire wouldn't be getting a social, but I likely could have requested one. I chose not to because I didn't want her identity to EVER be stolen later down the road. I know that is kind of far fetched, but in today's day in age a lot of identities of deceased people are stolen and I don't EVER want to deal with the possibility of mistaken or stolen identity with my daughter. Since the IRS doesn't need the social, I've opted to not have one. This way I know her identity and personal documents will always be safe with just me.
ReplyDeleteMy first visit to your blog. All I can say is that I feel for your and feel your pain. I will pray for you and your family.
ReplyDelete"That isn't the case- the IRS recognizes that there are situations, like ours, where there is no point to issue a social security number. When you are filling out your 1040 there is a section for dependents and you will write "Deceased" or "Died" where you would normally put the social security number." - Thank you for sharing this! We have decided not to get them SS cards, identity theft is definitely something I don't want to have to worry about! Thank you so much for the help :) ♥
ReplyDeleteYou don't like to think of it but the extra money will be helpful. Because Carleigh was stillborn we could not claim her and that money would've been so helpful to us. I hope you can get it all figured out and be able to do that.
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