My Story...continued

May 4, 2010. Our first ultrasound.

We had no idea how far along I was because I had just gotten off birth control and hadn't had a period. They were guessing somewhere between 6-12 weeks. Well, We were 7 weeks 3 day. And then the conversation goes like this...

Tech: "Guess what?"

Me: "What!?" (I was scared she was going to tell me something bad)

Shawn: "What?"

Me: "WHAT? What's wrong?"

Tech: "There's two in there!"

Me: "WHAT!?" (um, yeah...favorite word of the day?)

Shawn: "Shut the hell up."

Tech: -laughing- "You are having twins!"

Shawn: "Shut the hell up. I'm not trying to be rude but shut the hell up."

Me: "Just two right? There aren't like 3 or 4 in there right?"

Tech: -laughing hysterically at us- "Congratulations!"

We left the room and I was just in complete shock. Some of the nurses saw that we were holding ultrasound photos and asked to see them. Shawn told them all, "We are having twins!" They asked if we had just found this out to which we told them yes and everyone was giving us hugs and congratulating us. It was an amazing day.

I had to go back two weeks later because it looked as though the babies were sharing the same sac. But at my next ultrasound you could clearly see two separate sacs and two separate placentas.

After that we went in once a month for an ultrasound and check up. Everything was smooth sailing and Shawn and I could not have been happier.

At around 18 weeks I started having braxton hicks contractions. Those were not fun at all. But by 20 weeks they had pretty much went away. I just made sure to get a lot of rest and drink plenty of water.

On August 11, 2010 I was 21 weeks 4 days pregnant. I went in for my monthly appointment and ultrasound. The tech and the doctor were extremely happy with how things were progressing. We scheduled my next monthly appointment and then after that I would go to 2 week appointments.

But that next appointment never came.

August 14, 2010...it was a Saturday. My husband had picked up a few hours at work but we had made plans to go to dinner and a movie that night. He picked up my mom on his way home because she was going to watch our girls at our house and just spend the night.

So we went to dinner, which ran a little late, so we decided to skip the movie. We went and did a little shopping. We were actually looking at car seats and double strollers. We bought our girls a few things and bought the boys some clothes.

We got home around 11 p.m. My mom was still awake so we sat at the kitchen table and were talking about my baby shower for a few minutes. Shawn and I then headed upstairs...we were both exhausted and he had to work the next morning.

I remember feeling the boys kicking and rubbing my belly as I fell asleep. I woke up somewhere between 1-1:30 a.m. I thought I felt wet and at first I thought I was dreaming. Then as I became more alert I realized that I actually was wet. "Did I pee the bed?" I started feeling around and myself and the bed were soaked. I jumped out of bed and turned on the light. Shawn immediately woke up and asked, "what's wrong?" I just started yelling, "why am I all wet!?" over and over again.

I rant to the bathroom and Shawn went to wake my mom up. I pulled down my pants and a little gush a water came out. I wiped and there was blood. I started shaking. By this time my mom and Shawn were in the bathroom and Shawn was on the phone with 911. I was on the bathroom floor at this point and I could feel the water just gushing out. Shawn ran downstairs to meet the EMT's at the door. I started crying and I remember saying to my mom, "I can't have my babies yet, please God, it's too early, I can't have my babies."

The EMT's came upstairs and checked me out. They then carried me downstairs and into the ambulance. The hospital I planned to deliver at was about 20 minutes away, but Shawn told them to take me to the hospital that was closer to our house. It only took about 5 minutes to get to the hospital but it felt like an eternity. While in the ambulance I started to feel pressure and the urge to push. I was so scared.

We arrived at the hospital and the EMT's were taking me down the halls to the maternity floor. I remember screaming, "I feel something coming out!" And the nurse that was with us pulled the blanket back and said, "The baby is crowning."

The on call doctor had already been paged at this point but there was no time to wait. Bryston Gabriel was born at 2:03 a.m. The took him away and started working on him. They said he came out fighting and trying to breathe.

Colton's bag of water had started to come out as soon as Bryston was born but the nurse held it in until the doctor got there. The doctor arrived about 10 minutes later and did an ultrasound. Colton had already moved into the vagina so I had no other option but to deliver him. The doctor broke my bag of water and Colton's feet (he was breech) immediately came out. But I wasn't really contracting anymore at this point and the rest of his body wasn't coming through the cervix. So I was given pitocin. It wasn't kicking in and I was losing a lot of blood. The doctor did another ultrasound and said that Colton did have a heartbeat but that it was getting weak. He told us that if we wanted our son to be born alive we would need to have an emergency c-section. Shawn and I didn't even have to think about it, we told him to do what needed to be done to save our little boy.

So they took me back to the OR. At this point the Pitocin had kicked in and I was in a lot of pain. The contractions were very intense. He checked me again but Colton still wasn't coming down. They gave me a shot in my arm to stop the contractions but it didn't work. We were still waiting for the anesthesiologist so I accepted the pain medicine through my IV.

They let Shawn come in and sit with me while we waited, but as soon as the anesthesiologist got there he had to leave so they could put me to sleep.

Colton Joseph was born at 3:50 a.m.

I woke up in recovery and I felt like I had been hit by a truck. I was in so much pain. I remember a nurse coming in and putting a hospital band on my wrist. I must have looked confused because she said, "this is for your baby." I remember saying, "baby? you mean babies." She didn't say anything. Then Shawn came into the room and my first question was, "is he alive?" Shawn started crying and told me that Colton had passed.

He had lived for 70 minutes and Shawn had gotten to hold him while he was alive. They said he just didn't have any fight left in him, but that he tried to hang on as long as he could.

I wanted to die.

They brought Colton in to me. I got to hold my sweet angel.

Not long after that the pediatricians came in and told us that they had tried everything they could but Bryston was struggling. They had brought doctor's and more equipment from another hospital and were going to transfer him but his heart was not strong enough and he couldn't breathe on his own. We had to make the decision to either keep him on life support or to take him off.

He was suffering and we could not let that go on any longer.

They brought Bryston to us and I got to hold him for the last 30 minutes of his life. he moved in my arms and you could tell he was trying to fight but his little body was just too weak.

Bryston lived for 5 1/2 hours.

we had the boys baptized. I remember our room being filled with nurses and doctors and family and absolutely every single person was crying.

I had to have three blood transfusions because I had lost half my bodies blood supply. They kept us in the hospital for 4 days. The nurses and doctors were absolutely wonderful. We got to see and hold the boys as much as we wanted during those days. I am so very thankful for that time I had with them.

We had the placentas and umbilical cords tested to see if I had an infection that had caused me to go into labor but those tests came back and there was no infection. After going over everything, they came to the conclusion that the reason my water broke and I went into labor is because of Incompetent Cervix.

My doctor told me that I had a "text book pregnancy" and that she is still in shock this happened to us.

Where do I go from here?