My Story

I figured I would start this blog off with a little back story of my life.

I started this blog to help me with the loss of my sons' but that is not where my story started...

Let's go back to August 2002. I was a junior in High School. My mom, brother and I had just moved and I was the "new kid". I met Shawn, he was a senior. We became friends, and in December of 2002, we decided to become a couple. I absolutely fell in love.

In November of 2003 we found out we were pregnant. Big shock because we were not trying to get pregnant at all! But in December of 2003 we had an early miscarriage. We actually found out on New Years Eve. We were extremely sad, but just kept our faith in God and tried to move forward in our lives.

At this point we had our own place...and even though we weren't technically trying to have a baby, we weren't doing anything to prevent it from happening either. And in November of 2004, we found out we were pregnant again. Needless to say we were scared because we had already had a miscarriage. But the pregnancy progressed and things were going well. We found out at 20 weeks we were expecting a little girl and we could not have been happier.

That is until we got a call from the doctor. We had went to lunch after the ultrasound, and right after we got home my phone rang. I will forever remember that moment. "It looks as though your baby has fluid on the brain, we need to see you again for more testing."

Well, it turned out that our baby girl had Hydrocephalus.

I went into labor at 37 weeks. We tried for a vaginal birth but in the end I had to have a c-section. When Tianna was 3 days old she had to have surgery for a shunt placement. She did amazingly well. At 4 months old, she started to get sick and she had to have a shunt replacement. And then another one at 1 year old. But ever since then her shunt has been working great and I thank God every day. As a result of the Hydrocephalus, Tianna also suffers from seizures. At this point in time she is on 3 different medications twice a day. She hasn't had a seizure since April 2010. There is a chance she could grow out of the seizures but right now we just take it one day at a time.

Let me tell you though, seeing your child go through something like is absolutely horrible.

We had some tests done and found out that the Hydrocephalus was not genetic. The chances of any other children getting it was slim to none. We did tests while I was pregnant to see if we could figure out how this happened to Tianna and all tests came back normal. The neurologist explained that in a lot of cases...there simply is no reason.

1 in 500 kids have Hydrocephalus.

Looking at and talking to Tianna, you would never know she had any sort of condition. She is right on track for her age. We have been blessed.

When Tianna was 2 years old we decided that we wanted to have another child, and in November of 2007, we found out we were pregnant! At about 7 weeks I started to have some bleeding and was scared that I was going to miscarry. But the bleeding stopped and all was well. We found out that we were expecting another little girl and were thrilled! I had a few extra ultrasounds just to make sure she was healthy and was scheduled for a c-section. But at 37 weeks Aubrianna decided to come 5 days prior to the scheduled c-section and we had a successful VBAC.

The only thing that didn't quite go so well was right after the birth. My placenta had started to attach itself onto my scar tissue from my previous c-section. They couldn't get it out. I had to have a D&C and even after that there was still a piece left attached. I was given antibiotics that would "kill" the rest of the placenta and I would pass it. Besides that...it was smooth sailing.

In July of 2009 I made an appointment with my OB because I hadn't had a period in 3 months. I knew I wasn't pregnant...I had about 10 test as proof. So she did an ultrasound and saw that I had cysts on my right ovary. I was then diagnosed with PCOS, Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome. We discussed a few things with her and decided that it would be best for me to start taking the birth control pill. This did the trick. My periods came back and were regular.

We were told that because of the PCOS it would probably be hard for us to get pregnant. We were told that it could take a year or more and that we may even need to do fertility treatments. This scared us, but we stayed positive. In February of 2010 we decided to stop birth control and give it try. We decided to try on our own for a few months before we took that next step.

On April 10, 2010, it was a Saturday and Shawn and I were going to go out for dinner and drinks. I told him, "let me just take this pregnancy test, just to make sure"...Neither of us really thought it would be positive so when that second line appeared we were in complete shock! I mean, we got pregnant in a little over a month and without any medical help...how amazing!

So, this is where I'm going to stop. The next part of the story is what has brought me here to start this blog. The next part of the story has forever changed me.